Monday, April 03, 2006

I am feeling it...

For the past year or so, I have been "battling" with the concept of parenthood purely from a logistics /selfish point of view. I don't want to sacrifice my career and can't see myself as a mother, who will care for the baby, I don't want to resent baby for "robbing" me of my opportunities, etc.

Now, there has been a shift.

I can't quite put my finger to it but I am now starting to understand what it means when a woman says that she needs to have a baby (now)!

Not that I need a baby now per say but it would seem that I might just be ready for one sooner than later. Very peculiar. It was never an option not to have a child but when this is meant to happen, was never clear to me though my brain's been telling me that the magical age of 30 might work.

I have begun having conversations with hubby (not all the time, mind you) that begins with, "if we have a baby, would we do this or not? if we have a baby, would you cuddle it when we watch tv?" and when we were at the car dealerships, we would make sure that the cars be 4 door and door wide enough so that we can slip a baby sit in so on and so forth. When I walk pass the baby department in the shops, I can't help but look/feel the baby clothes, accessories, I have even picked out the baby stroller for our baby!

The Bugaboo Frog Stroller (up to 4 years old)
World famous, prize-winning frog stroller is the brainchild of an industrial designer and a doctor - it's the ultimate in smart and simple design.

The complete 3-in-1 system means it accommodates a bassinet, seat and car seat - grows with your child from newborn to 40 pounds.

- 2003 product of the year (Belgium, Italy, Holland and England)
- 2003 Best All-Rounder stroller

- 5 point harness for super safety
- fully reclining seat has 3 levels
- lightweight aluminun chassis
- "frog like" suspension for bump-free bliss
- bassinet "sleeping bag", apron & mattress
- soundless sun canopy
- clear rain/windscreen & mosquito neat
- folds into an ultra compact little package
- weights only 17 pounds

There has been a gradual acceptance to the concept of baby. Definitely not something that sprung up overnight.

Whenever I see hubby in action with Tanzetta i.e. playing, cuddling, fussing, etc I cannot help but replace Tanzetta with the image of a baby.

I no longer see baby as an inconvenience or deterance but instead see it as an addition to our family. Yes, baby will change our lives forever but I know we will never regret not having baby because we both want to have a baby some point in our marriage.

This was further heightened in a brief conversation I had with my neighbour across the road. She is a year older and is now 4 months with child. She showed me a copy of the ultrasound and I was blown away! The detail captured on that single piece of paper sent my hormones bouncing! I could see all the fingers, the shape of the baby and even the shape of my neighbour's uterus - all these were taken in her first trimester! Imagine what else she and her husband will see next time? Perhaps a baby with a full head of hair! The miracle of life is simply mind-blowing, to say the least.

I am feeling it....


At 1:40 PM, Blogger serene said...

hehe you're such a cutie!!! i can just imagine you being a mommy and fussing over your babe and stuff.. it's going to be so great. i'll keep u and jared in my prayer, that you'll soon be blessed with a bundle of joy to add on to your lives!!

the stroller looks good... i've been through many brands, including Aprica - but i think my favorite one is still McLaren strollers... they're good, sturdy ones and light-weight :) anyway, more mommy-exchanging tips when i see you!!!

At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Sue said...

The conversation of would we cuddle the baby while watching tv is very very funny. My dear, you DONT HAVE TIME to watch tv! There is so much that needs to be done while the baby is asleep that tv is the last thing on your mind. Buy lots of tapes as you cant follow your series anymore! All in all, the little bundle of joy/terror makes life liveable!


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